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Elaine T. Clancy
January 22, 1948 – September 21, 2009
My Mother in Law passed away this morning at 5:45 am. Over the last 6 weeks we have been at the hospital and then later at the hospice helping care for her with my family, staying overnight, holding her hands, listening to her words about life about all the pain she was going through with cancer. Six weeks ago she was diagnosed with stage 4 Cervical Cancer. I thought to myself how could this be, she just came back with us from Alaska a week before, I know she wasn’t a big nature person but she conquered walking on a glacier, canoed with her Husband James in Skagway, watched the glaciers with her son, played bingo with me on the cruise, enjoyed lobster…. How could this be after a week we come back from vacation?
The cancer had spread through her body, into the bones of her legs, she could no longer walk. Slowly but surely it got worse in a week, she went into the hospital due to an infection that would not go away in her body, she had no option for chemo. Instead of waiting it out she chose hospice. The nurses at the Hospice in Woodbury were wonderful, helping her, washing her hair at one point they brought me breakfast a week ago. We shared a bowl of oatmeal, I tried to feed her a spoonful, it was at that point where I knew she couldn’t coordinate a spoon and a bowl in her hands. It was happeneing she was disappearing and so the cancer in her body took over.
This past Saturday night we knew it would be soon and I visited the hospice facility and held her hand and brushed her hair, massaged her hands and arms. At this point she wasn’t responsive, I hoped that maybe she could still feel something.
This morning she went peacefully and the pain was gone.
She was a wonderful smart, cultured woman who loved how to cook and promised me she would teach me how to cook also one day and teach me how to change a diaper. She cared for so many family and friends, a smart open minded person. I know it hurt her so much to have to leave us and she knew hospice was the right way to go to not feel this pain she had through out her body.
I love this photo of her as a young girl with a book, hands down my favorite photo of her ever..
She pushed me to be who I am during my years of exploration with careers, pushed me to do something with my photography, encouraged me and encouraged others to be the best at what they can do.
We will miss you and we love you!
I just want to thank the outpouring of support from friends over the last couple of weeks. I know my phone has been ringing off the hook tonight.
All emails and phone calls will be returned on Wed.
Thank you so much from everyone for their support we love you all. I want to add all the weddings that I have been photographing this past month have made me feel so wonderful to witness the happiness of families being together.
Some of photographs I took of Mom:
My niece Kate’s 1st Birthday in 2004
In 2008 for my niece Keira’s christening :
Doing what she does best.. cooking, this was the day of our Housewarming party on July 11, 2009 she made awesome corn cilantro muffins and then saw how busy I was and made awesome gucamole. (my sis is in the pic on the far right)
Outside on the deck and before Lobster dinners on the cruise to Alaska the week of July 20th of this year.
I loved the way she took photos.. my Father in law next to Mom and my Husband Keith on the far right
On our Wedding day 2 years ago.. Dad, Mom, Keith, myself, my sister in Law and Brother in law.
In accordance with her wishes, there will not be a wake or a funeral. We will host a memorial service at my in laws home during the weekend of October 10th. Details about the memorial service will be sent once the arrangements have been finalized.
In memoriam donations in honor of Elaine can be made to the following:
Please use this email for donations- lauraryanphoto@gmail.com
Womens Cancer Network – Dedicated to Gynecological Cancer Research and Prevention, along with patient eduction and support.
http://www.wcn.org/about/donate.html
The Gynecologic Cancer Foundation
230 W. Monroe, Suite 2528
Chicago, Il. 60606
312-578-1439
Hospice Care Network – Providing end of life care to patients in the Long Island area.
https://ssl117.alentus.com/jkingsweb/gbt/hospice/donation-form-memorial-tribute.php
Hospice Care Network
Development Office
99 Sunnyside Boulevard
Woodbury, NY 11797
(516) 224-6432
Elaine was devoted wife, mother, grandmother and friend. She will be missed.
Family and Friends of Elaine, please click on this link to leave a comment on her guestbook.
http://www.legacy.com/gb2/default.aspx?bookid=790407277539&cid=full
Dear Laura,
What a beautiful testimonial and honor to Elaine and her family……..dad and nancy
Your mil is a beautiful woman inside and out. Always keep her memories vivid and shell forever stay in your hearts. You’re blessed with all the beautiful times you had together. Stay strong guys.
So sorry to hear of your loss. We hope all the great memories make you smile and remember her wonderful personality in this sad time. Much sympathy to you and Keith.